A Policeman's Lot MEDIA YouTube Recording SYNOPSIS When the announcer tries to give some praise to Dudley Do-Right, Boris is quick to boo him, so Dudley decides to sing “A Policeman's Lot (Is Not a Happy One),” from The Pirates of Penzance. LYRICS Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it's show time! And here with a special performance of one of the gems of light opera, is that rugged ranger, that constable's constable, the peerless, the fearless, Dudley Do-Right of the mounties! Others: Yay! Boris: Boo! Dudley: Did I hear a boo out there? Boris: Boo! Dudley: I did! I heard a boo! Boris: Was me you dimwit! Dudley: Have a care whom you call dimwit sir, you are speaking to a hard working member of the Canadian mounties! Boris: Ah what's so hard about your job? The horse does all the work! All you do is arrest the bad guys! Dudley: Well, that can be hard work when you've got a soft heart! Listen! When a felon's not engaged in his employment (his employment) Or maturing his felonious little plans (little plans) His capacity for innocent enjoyment ('cent enjoyment) Is just as great as any honest man's (honest man's) Our feelings we with difficulty smother (difficulty smother) When constabulary duty's to be done (to be done) Ah take one consideration with another (with another) A policeman's lot is not a happy one (ah) When constabulary duty's to be done (to be done) A policeman's lot is not a happy one (happy one) When the enterprising burglar's not a-burgling (not a-blurgling) When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime ('ccupied in crime) He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling (brook a-gurgling) And listen to the merry village chime (*chimes*) When the thug is finished jumping on his mother (on his mother) He loves to lie a-basking in the sun (in the sun) Ah take one consideration with another (with another) A policeman's lot is not a happy one (ah) When constabulary duty's to be done (to be done) A policeman's lot is not a happy one (happy one) A policeman's lot is not a happy one Happy one...! Rocky: Gee Dudley, you're all heart! Boris: Funny, from here it looks like he's all teeth! Dudley: That's my motto! As you go through life...smile, smile, smile! Rocky: How come? Dudley: You never know when somebody's going to take your picture! Rocky: But all you folks'll know as soon as you step into Peabody's Improbable Picture Place(sic)! He's the prince of prints! And we'll be back in just a few minutes! Bullwinkle: Yeah! Back to Music